Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I want to walk on stilts...naked
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
