I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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