it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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