bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
