Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
