You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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