I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
