Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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