just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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