do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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