i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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