ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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