I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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