her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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