It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
