I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize