No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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