Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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