idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
