Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
