he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Even my vagina gasped.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
