Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
