And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize