This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
