I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
