Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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