That's intense
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
