glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
