I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
