turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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