it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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