Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
