Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
