my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My bed smells like the plague
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
