after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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