I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
