I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
