its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
