Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think a kid would responsible me up
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
