I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
