I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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