I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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