I wish I could punch you in the face.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
