a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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