So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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