Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
