nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sext me about skeletons
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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