I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
