glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
