Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
