Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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