Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
