you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
