I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
