I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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