I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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