Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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