the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
