In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
