And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
