dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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