I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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