It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize