porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
