Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
