That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
