How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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