from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
