i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
