They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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